A job search is an emotional journey with highs and lows, get-this-sent-over-by-tomorrow and now wait-days-to-hear-back. It can be easy to grow impatient when you’re waiting on others’ timelines that may not reflect your urgency. Accept the discomfort. Everything is playing out as it is supposed to. Mastering the job search is mastering the mental and emotional journey of it. Our thoughts determine our emotions which in turn determine our actions, so it’s important to choose a mindset that will help you, not hinder.
Here’s an example:
Thought: I can’t believe I was downsized. This has never happened before.
Feeling: Mortified.
Action: Avoidance. I can’t get off the couch.
Everyone is entitled to feel and sit with this for a while. But, once the shock has worn off, you start to figure out what’s going to help you move forward.
A better example:
New Thought: I do have a decent network and have always tried to help anyone and everyone when I could.
Feeling: More hopeful.
Action: Send a note to my colleague who seems to always be in the know with local opportunities. That could be a start.
Accept, Don’t Resist, Discomfort
Discomfort is normal when you’re putting yourself out there and meeting new people more often than usual. Most people don’t like to live in such a place of risk and vulnerability for very long. But, the best and most exciting things come from a place of openness and possibility.
Try to accept the discomfort of the moment with an open mind toward the future.
This might sound something like:
“This is taking longer than I had thought it would… frustrating. This is hard. But – I can accept that. Parts of this is hard – and I accept that.”
When we resist situations, our energy and emotions tend to run the gamut of resentment, hate, spite, and passive aggressive. Our pride and ego are bruised and we dwell in the negative. Spending too much time in the negative and resistance blocks opportunities. When we choose to accept the situation as is – whether “good” or “bad” in our minds – we generate more open, trusting, patient energy – and actually invite more opportunities to come our way.
Expect Good Things
Have you ever had one of those sorts of days where everything seemed to go wrong? You might have stubbed your toe on the way to the shower and spilled your coffee on your lap on the way into work. By the time lunch rolls around and the deli got your sandwich all wrong, you are beginning to expect things to go poorly from here on out. It’s almost like you’re a magnet for problems and another bad thing is just around the corner.
The opposite kind of day can happen, too. When you move through the world as though it’s obvious that good things would happen, good things really do tend to come your way. Maybe it’s just that we notice more of what we pay attention to, but either way, a good day is better than a bad one.
Try out these thoughts and see what happens:
“I’m excited to see what comes from that introduction.”
”I’m excited to see what shows up in my inbox today.”
”There is nothing but opportunity here.”
”I love reconnecting with people that have been important to me throughout my career.”
Since a job search is already stressful to your mind, body, and even relationships, it’s important that you don’t make it more difficult on yourself than it already is. It’s best to acknowledge and accept the difficulty and then get moving on the good work of finding work that’s aligned well to your purpose. Imagine that there is an even better opportunity just waiting for you to discover it.